I hoped that trip to save my faith.
I thought giving my everything would renew my beliefs.
I thought hearing the stories of god’s power would hold me to the throne.
I thought I would witness miracles.
I thought my god would move mountains.
But at every turn I saw his weakness,
And his pride,
And his lack of concern.
I saw his people alone and abandoned.
Myself included.
And if it is human responsibility to bring heaven to earth
Then what is god doing.
I thought my questions would be answered
And they were.
But god did not answer them.