The final cut:
Like fresh shaven legs
Or the snip-snip of a “new do”
Or a new dye job
Or trashing an entire wardrobe
Like wanting everything to be different
Wanting nothing to recognize
And no memories to ache
Or photos to caress
No name badge to don
And no ducking behind walls
No working in silence because if I speak
I will scream
Because seeing their face is enough—
Enough to swallow an ocean
Enough to warm the entire globe
To melt the ice caps
To bring hell on earth
Only severing will do
Only axes will do
Only chain saws and hacking away at the future
And the broken promises
And the hope that brought me back
Again and again.
My eyes will not see
So the scabs will flake off
And the pink flesh beneath
will prove me a victor.
And I will make new promises
that I will keep.
The comfort I sought
But no longer need
No longer benefit
And maybe no longer healthy.
The saying goodbye to what was
And welcoming a new me
And promising myself
That it is mine.
This change
This year and
The finality of change
is the change I choose for myself.
I am the decision maker
And no longer the captive to time
No longer captive to being disappointed
By other people
By myself
But by deciding that I am worth more.
So much more.
It is the closed door I will not open.
But through the window I will climb.
Bravo to this healthy & powerful outlook!